In Singapore, the national lottery occurs twice a week. Every Monday and Thursday, one can spot snakes of people queuing outside the lottery outlets, waiting for their turn to purchase a ticket that promises fortune and riches. Many fall into a gambler’s mentality, thinking that the next draw will be their jackpot, heyday, or ticket to a different life.
In his book entitled ‘The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness’, Dave Ramsey writes “lotteries are nothing but a taxation on the poor and people who cannot do math.”
The odds of winning Singapore’s lottery are approximately 1 in 14 million. Despite that, people still wander back to the outlets to buy tickets. Perhaps the maths really is lost on them.
Why do people still spend time and money on a ticket filled with false promises and hope? Is everyone so inherently masochistic that they enjoy losing every week?
There are various reasons behind buying a lottery ticket. To many people, that isn’t simply a piece of paper. It is a golden ticket to financial freedom and independence. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Our closest friends exert a massive influence on our opinions and thoughts. You may be genuinely happy about their financial success, but there can be a nagging feeling in your mind. You cannot help but dwell over how far behind you will be when comparing yourself to them and how much more potential wealth they will accumulate.
It is important to take control of your personal finances at this stage. Work towards financial wellness rather than use the financial successes of your friends as a stick to beat yourself with.
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It is extremely difficult to stop comparing ourselves to other people entirely. Comparison is inherent. Comparison is a natural human tendency we indulge in, and it may not always be bad. We enable ourselves to grow and improve by comparing ourselves to other people. We can use it to motivate and inform ourselves about becoming better versions of ourselves.
Thus, comparing ourselves to others is expected. Comparison can have a detrimental effect on us. Studies have shown that comparing ourselves to others can fuel envy and low self-esteem. It causes us to think negatively and generate resentment and bitterness as we strive to meet unrealistic societal standards.
Wealth is often used as a metric for success. We create lists of the world’s most successful people and rank them by their financial worth. We judge people based on their salaries and material possessions. Faced with this decadent wall, we cannot help but feel we have underachieved. Our self-esteem is threatened, causing us to undermine ourselves as we receive negative feedback from the financial comparison.
This inherent idea of using wealth to measure success is flawed. Online or offline, we expose ourselves to wealth signals. We fail to question how the wealth was acquired. Wealth is not always acquired genuinely or can sometimes be fueled by debt or unsustainable spending levels. Social media only shows the glamour of being wealthy. This misleads us into considering a Ferrari owner as a person who has much more money than we do and must therefore be better than us on some kind of universal human scale.
Leon Festinger, a social psychologist, hypothesised that we evaluate ourselves by comparing ourselves to others. This is based on an impulse linked to our first impression of others. This is called the Social Comparison Theory. We make quick judgements about ourselves based on what we see in the world. These assumptions can be real or may turn out to be false. For instance, when we see a person with an item of material wealth in their possession, we automatically assume that this owner is wealthy. This may turn out to be untrue. However, these impressions stick, causing us to feel bad about ourselves, thus affecting our self-image and self-esteem
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Comparing your financial health to others affects purchasing habits and consumer behaviour too. Peer pressure is a significant branch in our decision-making tree. Several of your purchasing decisions may not be based on what you need but on your friends' buying. We sometimes spend way above our financial means.
Reports suggest that we indulge in shopping sprees for various reasons. We do it to fit into social circles, boost our self-confidence and so on. Often, this leads to impulse purchases and more regretful decisions as we allow ourselves to be influenced by the purchasing choices of others.
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Wealth and material goods are not good indicators of success or accurate measures of how successful you will become. A lot of what you see on social media is false. You should try to be aware and mindful of that fact the next time you feel down after seeing an Instagram post of a Porsche owner.
There are other metrics to measure how successful you are. You should only use yourself as a base comparison and not your friends. You will find yourself stagnating if you compare yourself to your peers. Invest in your personal growth and make savvy financial decisions based on your own means, not those of your friends. Remember: Simply because you are not making the same amount of money your friends make does not mean you will never be successful.
Turn the financial success of others into motivation instead of self-judgement. Transform the challenges, failings and successes of others into life lessons. Instead of rejecting their successes, we can use them to drive our financial journey.
Recognise negative thoughts to stem their invasive flow. Try to minimise and soften conversations revolving around money. Chasing unrealistic financial goals can be draining. Consuming holistic financial content can prepare us for a healthy financial relationship. It teaches us to live within our means and make intelligent financial decisions with our money.
It is easy to forget that everyone has their own financial situation and circumstances. We all have our own goals, aspirations and priorities in life. Your friend may love dining out at restaurants, and her income allows her to partake in that indulgence weekly. In contrast, you aim to pay off your student loans or manage your mortgages. Suppose you compare your life and finances to hers. In that case, you inadvertently allow her goals, priorities, and mistakes to become your own. We should instead focus on our aspirations and goals in life. In this way, our financial decisions will be much more satisfying.
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Comparing our finances to those of others can take a huge toll on our lives. We should make changes, learn how to take care of our finances, and live well within our means. Stopping the comparison can bring you much joy and relief from anxiety or worry. Spend some time looking inward toward the blessings you have in your life. Expressing gratitude for them will always remind you of how lucky and blessed you still are. The more time you spend being grateful for what you have, the less time you will worry about what you do not. So, the next time you compare your financial health to another person's, use this article to decide whether that is the best course to take in your financial journey. The onus is on you to make the right decisions.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS (FINANCIALLY). COMPLETED. ✅
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